He looked over his shoulder, pulled a cheap bottle of vodka out of his pocket, took a swig and carefully put it back. There I was, the picture of a squeaky clean and perfect life. Me with my little bob haircut, cashmere sweater walking my 16 month old daughter home from the children’s museum in her baby carrier. I couldn’t help but think how sad it was that this man, seemingly homeless, could not walk down the street without taking a swig of alcohol. That this man was seen as a bum to many, but inside he was a man with demons and pain. He didn’t want his life like this, he had dreams like everyone else.
While deep in my thoughts, he suddenly turned around and looked at my daughter. Pointing at her in the baby carrier he said, “I hope you stay in there. You’ll want to stay there or you’ll get mad. If you stay, you’ll be good”.
I’m not gonna lie, I felt a little nervous as I had no idea who this man was and my daughter’s safety comes first. But there is a Yiddish word “chein” that is hard to define in English. In all his scruff and dishevelment, there was a soft, gentle soul clawing out of his big brown eyes giving the most sincerest of blessings. He meant it and I knew it. He saw a beautiful little baby in a safe cocoon and he wished for her to stay safe and protected- to not end up like him. I smiled and responded, “I hope so too”. And with complete and utter sincerity I responded, “I hope you have a great day.” I know it’s a pleasantry commonly uttered, something you say in the most cold of circumstances. But I meant it in the most truest way for him.
Here was a man who was once a baby. Probably…hopefully, for at least one moment in his life there was a mother/ father/ aunt who dreamed of all things good for him. He was a baby others cooed over. And here he was, on Central Park South, needing a cheap crutch to just get across the street.
I kissed my daughter’s head and held her hands. Please G-d, let her stay here.
*Very loosely, chein refers to inner beauty. Someone genuinely gentle, kind and sweet. It also connotes a certain purity.
