“Baby 411,” by Dr. Ari Brown and Denise Fields
Material from Baby 411 reprinted with permission.
“Baby 411” was co-authored by a spokesperson for the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), lending to its credibility (you can learn about her here). This book is a mix of scientific facts and Dr. Brown’s opinions formed over years of seeing patients and speaking with parents. This book was written to help parents distinguish between fact and opinion.
There’s not much for me to say but that I, surprisingly, enjoyed it. I initially thought it would be an annoying read, but the authors were actually quite likable. The book is pretty dense though, as it covers a wide range of topics. Like my other reviews, I only include the parts related to the developmental health and happiness of your baby.
Parenthood
Fairness, consistency and a parent-child relationship based on mutual love and respect are hallmarks of good parenting.
It’s important to have a united front with your partner; choose a parenting style before any other decisions are made.
There are four Basic Parenting Approaches:
1. Positive parenting – Positive parents set up rules and expect their children to follow them. They listen to their children’s perspective and problem solve together.
2. Authoritative Parenting – Authoritarian parents have firm rules and high expectations and do not want to hear the child’s opinion.
3. Permissive Parenting – Parents don’t set limits, rules or expectations. They are friends with their kids, which usually results in chaos.
4. Attachment Parenting – Parents respond to their child’s needs ‘round the clock and there’s a lot of touching, holding.
I’m personally of the Positive Parenting ilk. I don’t believe that children should be your friend or your subject, nor you theirs. They are people who deserve respect, boundaries, consistency and clear direction. I don’t believe children and parents should be attached at the hip—it doesn’t seem healthy or realistic. Please read my article on “Brain Rules” to learn about the parenting style children prefer most—it may surprise you!
Sometimes the best parenting style is a combination of approaches.
Childcare
Make the decision between being with your child and working outside the home. Then make the best of it. Research shows that quality time with your children is more important than sheer number of hours spent with them. Kids do best when their moms focus their attention, engage and respond to them. If you are fulfilled and enjoying your work and have good childcare, your baby will thrive.
I made the choice to stay at home with my daughter, but I know it’s not a choice everyone can make. I felt that I made a choice to have a child so I would do my best to provide for her as much as possible. In my experience, it’s really difficult to stay home all day every day, it really is. I understand mothers who don’t work just for financial reasons but also because it makes them a better mother. However, if you work, it’s even more important to be fully present with your children when you are with them. It’s amazing how much children love and look up to their parents.
I found a happy medium where I left my baby for three hours each day so I could have my own time, do some work and drink a coffee.
The first three years are critical in your child’s development, when she learns to trust others and function independently. The people you select to care for your baby are incredibly important. When introducing a new caregiver, ease the transition by bringing her for a few hours one day while you’re with her. You won’t need a nanny cam—an infant will tell you if she is uncomfortable with someone; she won’t be happy to see that person. Obviously, you need to do an extensive background check before hiring anyone.
I absolutely agree with this! If you take the time to notice your child’s reactions and mood when seeing someone (e.g., a caregiver) you will absolutely know if your child feels comfortable, safe and loved with them. My daughter went to a three-hour-a-day camp and I pulled her out after a few days. I initially felt I’d stick around with her to get used to her new caregivers, but I realized they weren’t warm and loving so I didn’t see the point in acclimating her there. She is currently in the warmest, least fancy, preschool we considered, and she is overjoyed to go every day. I would not poo-poo it when you or your child has a negative reaction to a caregiver. Even if a caregiver is doing nothing “horrific,” having a loving adult caregiver will have an incredibly positive impact on your child.
If you do work out of the home, it’s a good idea to schedule fun time. For example, take ten minutes out of every morning to jump on the bed or read stories with toddler.
I love this! Even if you’re a stay at home mom, you’re often doing chores, errands or simply watching your child. It’s so important to carve out time to get fully engaged in a fun activity with your child.
Eating
Since newborns can’t be put on a schedule, on-demand feeding should be the norm for the first 8 weeks. By 4 months, a baby will be capable of regular feeding and sleeping patterns. If your baby falls into a predictable pattern before then, you’re just lucky.
Avoiding Obesity
- Breastfeed for at least 4 months.
- Start solid foods at 4-6 months, not earlier.
- Be a good role model. You put the food on her table, so make it good, healthy.
- Keep your child physically active.
- Make restaurant food a treat. Fast food once a month, not once a week.
- Offer appropriate serving sizes. Start with 2 tablespoons per serving. Most older babies eat about 4-6 ounces three times a day until the first birthday.
- Don’t force your child to eat.
- Make juice a low-priority item.
- Keep the four Cs out of your pantry: cola, chips, cookies and candies. They can be occasional treats.
- No TV while food is being served.
Nutrition
Children generally get too little calcium, fiber, zinc and iron.
- Calcium: For ages 1-3 years, children need 500 mg per day. Ages 4-6, 800 mg.
- Fiber: The required grams per day = age in years + 5. (There are no established guidelines for 0-12 months.) Adults need 25-30 grams per day.
- Zinc: From birth to 6 months old, 2 mg per day. From 7 months to 3 years, 3 mg per day.
- Iron: For ages 6-12 months, 11 mg per day
I’m including much of their information on nutrition because I desperately tried to find concrete answers when my daughter started solids. I never knew the line between my daughter eating too little and me overfeeding her. When your child is nine months old and distracted, it is extremely difficult to decipher whether your child is too busy to eat or simply not hungry. I really appreciated these concise and clear answers. The book also has helpful charts on food and nutrition.
Liquids
Human breast milk provides the perfect nutrition for human babies. Give breastfeeding your best effort, because any breast milk you feed your baby is a gift to her.
Breastfeed for at least a year. At that point, you deserve a solid gold medal of honor.
Yay, Me! (at time of writing this I just hit 13 months). It was really nice to see this. I feel like we often don’t see what we do that benefits our children, we just do our thing. We take for granted that some of the ordinary things we do are in fact incredibly impactful and important for our children. Seeing this was a nice little pat on the back. Of course, some mothers cannot breastfeed; cuddling, being present and spending quality time with your baby are just as impactful.
Sleeping Like a Baby
“Sleeping through the night” is defined as six hours of uninterrupted sleep. Don’t fall for books that promise the magic potion for sleep. Parents with young babies sleeping the night are often exaggerating or will be in for a rude awakening when their baby reverts back to a normal sleep pattern.
She specifically calls out Twelve Hours’ Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old. “If the author were honest, it would be Six Hours by Seventeen Weeks!”
You cannot spoil a newborn. They don’t have the ability to settle on their own. Do what it takes to get your baby to sleep.
411 S.L.E.E.P. Plan
S: Set up a sleep routine at around 3-4 months old. It should be is consistent, short and sweet – one book, one song, one minute of rocking in bed. Same time and place every night.
- Sleep should be in the same place for naps and nighttime. Transition her to this spot at around 2-3 months old.
- Start your ritual 20 minutes before baby is tired.
- Adapt your schedule as much as possible so you can stick to this routine.
L: Less is more. The less you intervene, the more everyone sleeps.
E: Empower the child. By 4-6* months, baby should be capable of going to and falling back to sleep on her own, so let her. This is also a good time to start weaning her off the pacifier.
- The better baby sleeps during the day, the better she’ll sleep at night.
- By 4 months, maybe earlier, baby will be on a nap schedule. Follow baby’s lead. Naptime can begin within 30-45 minutes of a set time, but try to be consistent. If your baby chooses to talk for 30 minutes instead of nap, let her.
- End the afternoon nap by 4-5 pm; try putting baby down for the last nap by 1-2 pm.
E: Earlier bedtime. Don’t put your baby to sleep overtired. Early to bed, late to rise.
P: Plan together and stick to it. You and your spouse agree to plan and don’t cave.
- Babies need refresher courses on sleep after travel, illness or teething. This takes a few days.
- If baby has a disrupted sleep schedule, by being consistent, you can get back to normal in just 1-2 nights.
Additional Sleep Tips
5 tips for getting a newborn to sleep:
- Sucking breast, pacifier or finger
- Movement: rock, sway, bounce
- Sing
- Keep snug in swaddle, bassinet, baby carrier
- Go for a car ride
Like with “Happiest Baby on the Block,” I love that she is advocating for the “evils” warned against in other books, like using a car ride to put a baby to sleep. I chose to put my daughter to sleep via feeding, rocking or singing, but in times of desperation (thankfully few and far between), I resorted to other measures. Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. No need to make a whole federal case out of everything.
Day/night reversal: If your baby sleeps during the day instead of night, stimulate her during the day and keep things low key with little interaction at night. Talk to your baby during daylight hours and encourage any wakeful periods she has. This usually takes 3-4 weeks to resolve.
Your baby’s sleep activity and noises do not mean you need to feed or help her. She will usually enter the next sleep cycle if you leave her alone.
Between 2-4 months of age, your baby will start to have some regular sleep and feeding patterns. Keep a sleep/feeding diary for a week and you’ll know your baby’s preferences. Then you can put your baby down for naps and bedtime BEFORE she shows you that she’s tired. After 8 weeks, ditch the swaddling. “Swaddle transition” products like Magic Merlin are not recommended. They prevent movement and lead to flat heads and excessive sweating.
I purchased the Magic Merlin because it was advertised as the greatest invention since sliced bread. I returned it immediately. This was a case of using my instincts/common sense. It seemed to be way too restrictive and basically put my baby in a mummy position. There was no way my kid could move. It was also way too puffy and I was worried about overheating. I was glad to see my concerns confirmed here.
Your goal is also to separate eating from sleeping. If your 4-month old falls asleep during feeding, wake her up before putting her into bed. Try soothing her without food during night wakings. If you are breastfeeding, let the father try to soothe so her so there’s less expectation for food. If it’s been four or more hours since the last feeding, you probably have a hungry baby. Stop night feedings and your baby will stop being hungry. Offer water instead. At first she’ll protest but, by the third night, won’t bother to wake up.
There’s no “four-month sleep regression.” The four-month milestone is a sleep progression, not regression. When parents talk about having a sleep regression, it’s because they were lucky enough to have a baby who slept through the night without a sleep ritual. By 4-5 months, your baby should be capable of falling asleep without nursing/bottle. At 4 months, babies can sleep 6 hours without needing to eat; at 5 months, 9 hours; at 6 months, 12 hours.
I’m not against crying it out—aka, CIO—however, I find many parents practice it way too early and incorrectly. I do think it is absolutely necessary to consider that your child might actually be hungry when crying. When my daughter started to wake up more often at around 7 months old—I didn’t know what was going on. Turns out, my milk supply had gone down for a short time and she was hungry. I’m a member of a few sleep training groups, and a comment of mine was deleted when I suggested that a middle-of-being-sleep-trained baby who would not stop crying was hungry. It was astonishing to me that parents are comfortable with suggestions of letting an 8-week old cry to the point of vomiting, but not a suggestion that a child might need food. You are the only means of your baby getting food and crying is their only way of communicating. Please consider hunger as an issue.
The exact method of transitioning to a better sleep pattern varies for each baby. Basically, you do as little as possible and give your baby more time to settle on her own. Thirty minutes is a reasonable amount of time by 5 months of age, baby is neurologically mature enough to self-soothe by 4-6 months. If baby does not fall asleep by then, you can use the Ferber or “rapid extinction” method. **
Most babies will cry for 45 minutes and fall asleep. If you can’t handle your baby crying for long, it’s OK to go in for a brief intervention. Do some cuddling, rocking, patting or singing for a few minutes, but don’t completely rock her to sleep. Remember: A few nights of crying is insignificant compared to MONTHS of bad sleep. If your baby is not responding to sleep training, take a complete break and try again in a few weeks.
AAP warns against co-sleeping. A landmark study evaluated children who co-slept compared to solitary sleepers and found that co-sleeping children experienced no statistically significant problems or benefits.
Dream feeds set up a habit of feeding a child when she isn’t hungry, but it doesn’t guarantee you’ll sleep the night and can cause cavities.
Undoing Bad Habits: 5-12 months and beyond
If you set up healthy sleep routines up front, you won’t have to endure the often highly emotional experience of sleep training. Self-soothing is a skill which can be learned by 6 months if given the opportunity.
Starting the day: If your child is an early riser, pick a reasonable time to start the day (like 6 am). When you hear her making noise at 5 am, wait until 5:15 or 5:20 before going to her. The next morning, wait until 5:45. By the third morning, you can begin your day at 6 am. Next, try putting her to bed a little earlier at night. Finally, try putting a few board books in her crib. She can look at them for a while until the sun comes up. Your presence signals the beginning of the day.
The authors highly recommend www.babysleep.com for evidence-based sleep advice. She also reveres Dr. Ferber and states that Mindell’s “Sleeping Through the Night” is her favorite sleep book. She states she has safety concerns with Dr. Sears’ method and doesn’t particularly like how he presents his method as the preferred way to have well-adjusted children. (I agree about Dr. Sears; he advocates a parenting style that is all fairies and rainbows with no sense of realism.)
* For premature babies, it may take as long as 17 weeks past their due date to sleep through the night.
** If baby has acid reflux, only do CIO for 5-10 minutes.
Development
Don’t obsess over hitting developmental milestones.
The authors affirmatively state that autism is genetic.
Babies are egocentric. In their minds, the world revolves around them, and they continue to think this way until about 6-7 years old.
I found this last bit of information interesting to note as it helps when reasoning with toddlers and children.
Activities to Foster Development
4-6 months:
· Gross motor skills: Stationary Excersaucer-type toys are great for up to 10-15 minutes at a time. Also, be sure to give babies lots of floor time to roll and balance.
· Fine motor skills: Give your baby large plastic or plush toys to grab, manipulate and mouth. Toys that make noises are fun. The plush caterpillars that have different sounding objects in each segment are popular.
· Language: Read to your child on a daily basis. Use board and tub books which also give a tactile experience.
· Social/Personality: Get a cheap plastic mirror; your baby will enjoy her reflection.
6-9 months:
· Gross motor skills: Provide a safe place for baby to move around.
· Fine motor skills: Provide safe toys to feel, maneuver and taste. When buying toys, choose ones that make sounds or lights when manipulated. Household and kitchen items are popular. Individually wrapped crackers are a real crowd pleaser.
· Language: Continue reading books to her. When you speak to baby, use single words and short phrases to teach words. For example, instead of “Oh, do you want the rubber duck?” just say “Duck?”. The same language rules apply to discipline. Instead of “Oh no honey, don’t bite Mommy,” say “No biting.”
· Social/Personality: Baby will imitate the way you respond to situations. Be a good role model. Peek a boo is fun. So is hiding toys under a blanket and letting your baby look for them.
9-12 months:
· Gross motor skills: Offer a wide-open space for roaming. Introduce a ball. Toys that can be pushed are fun for babies who are walking.
· Fine motor skills: Play pat-a-cake. Offer toys that can bang together (“cause and effect” toys). Buy the classics, e.g., stacking cups, shape sorters, toys that can be filled and dumped.
· Social/Personality: Let baby participate in activities of daily living. While you are cooking, let baby “cook” nearby with her own pots and pans. When cleaning, give her a towel, too. Start reviewing body parts as part of her vocabulary. You can give her jobs, as she should be able to follow one-step directions like “Bring me the ball”.
· Language: Picture books with a single picture and word on each page encourage vocabulary words. Remember to converse with your child as your companion. Singing songs helps with language skills.
Separation anxiety peaks during this phase, then again at 15-18 months. Anxiety stems from the fear that you are leaving permanently. Ease these fears by kissing your baby goodbye and telling her when you’ll be back. Keep it short and sweet and make your exit.
Despite the massive temptation, I’ve never snuck out on my daughter. I feel I would completely betray her trust and confidence in me by simply disappearing on her. I make my good-byes short, sweet and informative. I tell her where I’m going, who she’ll be with and what time I’ll be back. I tell her I love her, give her a hug or kiss and leave. She believes that I will come back because I’ve never “swindled” her and I keep my word. On the rare occasion she’s had difficulty, I’d have her push the elevator button or close the door to “help” me leave. This generally did the trick.
At this age, real parenting begins. A 9-month old understands the word “no,” but she may not choose to listen. She will test limits to make sure you mean it.
It is important to begin discipline and setting limits at 9 months. Teaching your child to be an independent being means she will learn and be able to self-control and self-regulate even when you’re not around. Consistency is key—if an adult ignores behavior which other adults reprimand, this behavior will continue.
Toy Guidelines
Birth-6 months:
Look for bright primary colors, clear lines, features, human faces, soft blocks, rattles, squeeze toys, keys on a ring, activity gyms. Other sensory activities: tape recordings of you singing or reading a story. Music boxes, mobiles, mirrors, hand-held puppets.
6-12 months:
Look for things that can safely be put in the mouth; things to stack, pour, dump, push, turn, press; things to open and shut; push toys, low climbing platform, soft blocks, easy puzzles, squeeze-squeaky toys, pop-up boxes, containers to empty and fill, nesting cups, water toys. Other sensory activities: music boxes, music recordings, and recordings of you.
This list is derived from Consumer Product Safety Commission’s (CPSC.gov) “Which Toys For Which Child: A Consumer’s Guide for Selecting Suitable Toys, Ages Birth Through Five.” The Oppenheimer Toy Portfolio is also recommended as a great resource to find age-appropriate toys for stimulating development.
General
Mommy & Me: For the most part, mommy gets more out of these programs than babies younger than 1-year old. Look for programs that focus on singing, story time, finger plays. The more motor-oriented programs (Gymboree, The Little Gym) are more appropriate for toddlers. Infant swim classes can be fun and help prevent drowning.
The most critical developmental stimulation for your baby is the time you spend with her.
Your availability when she needs help teaches your child to turn to adults for problem-solving. Praising for small accomplishments gives her confidence.
Girls learn language skills more quickly than boys. Boys tend to reach motor milestones more quickly than girls – hence the roughhousing and athletic skills that you see later on. Parents have some hand in the way children develop along gender lines, but a lot of it is pre-determined.
Encourage babies to walk barefoot at home. There is no medical reason to wear shoes until after your baby walks well, and even then, only outside.
TV/Media
For children under 2, AAP discourages screens other than video chatting with parents. If parents want to introduce screens before, the authors suggest high-quality apps and programs and using them with your child. Media without oversight should be avoided. Between 2 and 5 years old, AAP says to limit screen use to one hour a day of high-quality programming and with parent participation, if possible.
Suggestions:
- No screens before age 2; set a daily limit after age 2.
- Content matters: PBS is usually a good bet. (Check commonsensemedia.org)
- Participate with your child. Talk about what you watch.
- Keep screens out of your child’s bedroom.
- No screens allowed, whatsoever, at mealtime.
- Have a media management plan for everyone in your family, including you.
- Remember that young children need to play on their own and experience real people and real things.
- Hear it straight from the author here.
I am 100% in the camp of no TV. Apart from all the negative consequences listed, I find that it takes away from the carefree, running around outside, simple activities that make childhood so innocent. The image of a child sitting robotically, transfixed and hypnotized by a screen is really a depressing one for me. “Simplicity Parenting” does a good job of helping parents bring simplicity and innocence back to their children and homes.
Crying
If you had no other way to communicate, you’d be crying too! Babies are trying to tell you something when they cry. It’s your job to play detective and figure out what it is.
As I’ve said in basically every review I’ve written, if a baby is crying, there is a reason. Don’t brush it off as colic, crankiness, etc. It is important to go through the “possible problem list” to find out and address what is bothering your baby. Crying is their way of telling you they need something.
View crying as a form of self-expression. Nature intended it to be disturbing to you.
Three rules of cry management:
1. Don’t panic.
2. Go through your potential problem list.
3. If crying persists for more than two hours straight, there may be medical reasons. Medical reasons for crying are generally not fixed by holding and rocking your baby. The problem may be heartburn, colic, fever, gas, constipation, milk intolerance. The last three are usually not the problem, but every parent is convinced that it is one of them.
As I’ve mentioned, parents often use the word “colic” with no diagnosis behind it. Colic is actually hardly ever the problem. It’s so important to take a deep breath, observe your baby and go through the “possible problem list” to find out what might be bothering her.
Tricks for soothing your baby
- Sucking on finger/pacifier (pacifier OK for under 6 months; a year, max)
- Burrito wrap/swaddle
- Rocking
- Stroller walk
- Car ride, vibrating infant seat or infant swing
- Top of clothes dryer that’s running
- Bath
- Infant massage
- If you’ve tried everything else and are beyond exhausted, put baby in bed and leave her on her own.…She will be truly exhausted at this point and will fall asleep.
Discipline and Temperament
Once you figure out your child’s temperament, you can tailor your discipline to fit her and will have a better idea of how to make her world, and yours, a better place. For example, if baby needs extra time getting into the car seat to prevent a fight, plan extra time when taking a car ride. The way you respond to your child has a major impact on your child’s personality. Your baby’s doctor may be a good resource to help you sort through these issues. The author offers some questions to help you understand your child’s temperament. (She gives absolutely no solutions, so I don’t think it’s useful and am not including it here.)
Discipline Management Plan
The author discusses “Planting Seeds of Discipline”:
· Make your house kid-safe so you don’t have to say “No” to everything the child touches.
· Set uniform house rules that all caregivers enforce.
· Plan with consequences that are consistently enforced.
You are planting the seeds of discipline; don’t expect the tree to grow overnight. Be calm and consistent. The goal of discipline is to teach. If you want a well-behaved child, you need to be well behaved as their role model.
The “Terrible 2’s” start at around 12-18 months and last until age 3-4. Look at your child’s world through her eyes. She can’t comprehend that adults understand everything she needs, and she hasn’t mastered all the motor skills to accomplish certain tasks. She isn’t sure where all her activity boundaries are and is told “no” numerous times a day. Combine all of that with a perspective that mom and dad can read her mind. Finish off with the unattainable goal of complete independence. Being tired, bored and hungry are also contributors.
I totally felt my daughter starting to exercise her independence at about 12 months of age. I wondered if it was considered “the Terrible 2’s” and I learned here that it was. She wasn’t terrible by any means, but I saw her attempt to assert her will and express her needs more.
It is almost frightening that a kid learns by our actions. To use a humorous example: I heard my daughter, from across the room, excitedly repeating a word over and over again while looking at her finger. When I came closer, I realized she was saying “boogz! boogz!” (her word for booger). I realized I had totally created this excited monster. I had tried to clean out her nose numerous times and she resisted. So, I started making it an exciting thing and would show her the “boog” when it came out of her nose. She clearly started to get excited at the conquest! It’s amazing how I created a child so excited at the sight of a “boogz.” Oops!
The temper tantrum: You need to let it happen. Your job is to give her a safe place to let it out. Do not respond to your child while she is in the midst of this performance; when she is done, you can talk about it. Don’t give in to a tantrum.
Discipline tips:
1. Avoid as many conflicts as possible. Make your house child safe to limit needing to say no. Don’t push your child past her threshold by running too many errands, missing naptime, waiting forever at a restaurant, etc. Have a “two-stop” rule when you are out with her. More than two stops will really test your child’s patience.
2. Anticipate conflicts. If you see your child heading toward the stereo, move her elsewhere or offer a toy.
3. Expect attention-seeking behavior. Be prepared for trouble when your attention is turned elsewhere. If she gets into trouble when you cook, let her “cook,” too.
4. Give your child the opportunity to feel like she’s in control of her world. You are really in charge, but she doesn’t need to be reminded of that 24/7. When there is an opportunity for her to choose something, let her.
5. Pick your battles. Categorize behaviors into major errors, minor ones, and those too insignificant to bother with. Minor infractions are negotiable with an older child. (Read my post about “Bringing up Bébé” for a more expansive view on this). Don’t bother to discipline for minor infractions; it’s not worth it and moving on limits the number of conflicts that arise.
6. Act immediately. Discipline when the behavior occurs, not after the fact. Never say, “just wait till your father/mother gets home.”
7. Make your comments short and sweet. Speak in short sentences such as “No hitting,” as this is more effective.
8. Focus on the behavior, not the child. A particular behavior is bad; she is not bad.
9. Remind your child that you love her. Always end your intervention with a positive comment. It reinforces the reason that you are teaching her how to behave
10. You need to adapt to your little individual and find a discipline style that works well with your child.
11. Don’t yell. It’s not the volume of your voice, but the tone, that gets the point across.
12. “Catch” your child behaving well and praise her for it.
Dealing with Sticky Situations
Separation anxiety
Keep your bathroom door open so your baby does not panic every time you answer nature’s call. It’s CRITICAL that you tell your baby where you are going. Sneaking off will only make her anxiety worse. If she’s prepared for your departure, she will protest for a few minutes and then move on.
Freaking out with strangers
Let your baby watch the person before handing her over. Then, stay within your child’s line of view for a while after the handoff. It’s a good idea to have consistent caregivers while your child is in stranger anxiety mode (usually 9-15 months).
Baby playing with genitals
It does feel good to touch them. Erections are also normal. As your child gets older (around 18 months), you can start explaining that it’s OK to touch down there, but only when at home in their own room. This is a good segue into a discussion that no one else touches or looks down there except for mom, dad and doctor.
Throwing food
When food starts to fly, mealtime is over.
Thumb sucking
You cannot stop thumb sucking at a year old. As your child gets to be around 18 months, you can reason with her about where it is appropriate to thumb suck (bedroom) and where not (public). Limit this to when the child needs downtime. “Toddler 411” is a great resource for ways to end your preschooler’s thumb-sucking habit.
Biting
Take baby off her victim and place her on the floor. Calmly and sternly say “No biting”. Do not pay any attention to your baby for one minute. It may take 20-30 times before your baby gets the message.
This is exactly how I reacted to my daughter biting during nursing. For us, it took 1-2 times and it was over.
Vaccinations and toxins
The author goes into great detail about vaccinations and pesticides/toxins. I will discuss these topics in a separate article. Suffice it to say, she is strongly supportive of vaccines and advises we try to balance toxins we are exposed to since there isn’t enough research on their damage.
I found the chapter on toxins particularly interesting because I’m extremely skeptical of hype, trends and frenzied panic. I have an automatic block to mass hysteria. This chapter helped sort things out in a way that seemed reasonable to me.
Conclusion
When I started this book, I thought it would be an annoying “try hard” book…but it was actually great. It’s factual, straight to the point and touches on a lot of topics.
If you want a book that gives you a good, overall view on baby-rearing, then this book does a great job. Pick up your copy here or choose another option here! For a more comprehensive approach to discipline, sleep and other important concerns for parents, I’d look at other books (and I know just the blog to help you do that!).
Material from Baby 411 reprinted with permission. `
