What is a Wonder Week?
Babies go through 10 developmental leaps in their first 20 months of life. The baby wonder week leaps occur at predictable times and are preceded by a fussy period. Knowing to expect these periods will help you prepare for your baby’s leaps.
Although a bestselling book, it is needlessly long – it clocks in at about 500, super repetitive, poorly edited pages. I think it’s the authors’ attempt to convey a textbook like book to appear scientific. The reality is, it is anything but. Plooij’s own student could not replicate his purported findings. In fact, Plooij was fired from his role in academia due to these results. I’ll also relay a bit farther down why I felt this book was a load of BS, without knowing any of the above. But don’t let facts get in the way of a great sounding premise, millions of parents are still swearing by this book and the wonder weeks.
So let’s dive in.
I’ll start with describing the fussy periods, then explain the 10 leaps, do a brief overview on their sleep and crying philosophies and finally discuss tips for dealing with fussiness.
What Ages Do Babies Go Through Leaps?
The wonder week leap fussy periods come at the 5, 8, 12, 15, 23, 34, 42, 51, 60 and 71 week milestones.
All babies go through these leaps at exactly the same time, give or take a week or two, and are calculated by your baby’s due date (not birth date). Fussy periods last a few days to weeks.
Signs Your Baby is Going Through a Leap:
- Become shy or less social
- Lose their appetite
- Suck their thumbs or fingers more often
- Sleep poorly
- Look listless or preoccupied
- Need more head support
- Be moody
- Stop making their familiar sounds
- Fidget with their ears
- Refuse diaper changes
- Reach for a cuddly object more often
- Have nightmares (generally a symptom for toddlers)
- Wake up looking helpless, afraid or in a panic
- Get frustrated or angry
- Cling to you
- Act unusually sweet
- Seem more babyish
- Be more mischievous
- Daydream
Three C’s: clinginess, crankiness and crying are the telltale signs of growth spurts or major leap in development. Your baby may also:
*Note not all these happen to each baby or by each leap. It’s a sum of all possible symptoms.
When all this clinginess begins to ease, you will notice that your baby is just a little more grown up. It’s crucial that you respond when you notice these new skills or interests. Your baby will enjoy it when you share, encourage and praise new discoveries with them, and you will accelerate their learning process.
Wonder Week Leap 1
5 Weeks Old – The World of Changing Sensations
This fussy phase lasts one day to one week. Babies become much more alert. Their whole world feels, looks, smells, and sounds different. They may stay awake longer and become more observant.
How to Help:
Introduce your baby to anything new to them. They enjoy brighter colors, striped and angular objects and human (specifically your) faces. Put your face close to theirs, chat with them and pause to give them a chance to “respond.” Be careful not to overstimulate your baby. Stop as soon as you notice something is getting too much for them.
After the Leap:
At around 6 weeks, the leap has ended. Babies are more cheerful and alert.
Wonder Week Leap 2
8 Weeks Old – The World of Patterns
The fussy phase lasts days to two weeks. Your baby will suddenly see, hear, smell, taste and feel in a completely new way as they start to see patterns. Many of their reflexes disappear and they begin to learn to control their body.
How to Help:
Show them all sorts of patterns – move objects slowly. Place easy to grab items within their reach. Try to respond to every sound your baby makes, imitate them and engage in a “conversation”. Take turns, listen, and imitate while conversing.
If your baby can lift their head independently, they may like being pulled up by the arms from half sitting to an upright position or sitting to standing. Your baby can feel the difference between each of these positions/patterns.
After the Leap:
Around ten weeks, another period of comparative east sets in. Your baby may become very cheerful and busy amusing themselves. This mental leap may make life much easier for you now.
Wonder Week Leap 3
12 Weeks Old – The World of Smooth Transitions
This fussy phase lasts one day to a week. Your baby is now able to recognize continuous changes in sights, sounds, tastes, smells and touch. They will notice voice shifts and body shifts from one position to another. Movements become much smoother, more controlled and coordinated. They are able to follow something with their eyes in a controlled manner.
How to Help:
You can make the task easier for them. Turn a toy around so that it’s easier for them to grab, prop them up so they can see a bird, or imitate the sounds they are making.
When your child reaches for objects and misses, encourage them to try again, or make the game a little easier for them so they get a taste of success. Point different items out to them, tell them what they are and describe the sensations. Use a tone of voice to express the feeling an object or surface arouses. Let them watch while you move your hand or slowly pick up a toy. Let them spend time naked so it’s easier to move around.
After the Leap:
Between 12-13 weeks your baby will act like a little person.
Wonder Week Leap 4
19 Weeks Old – The World of Events
Fussy phase begins at 15 weeks, or between 14-17 weeks, and lasts about one to six weeks. From this age on, the fussy periods are longer because the new skills learned are more sophisticated.
An “event” is a short, familiar sequence of smooth transitions from one pattern to the next. Your baby begins to understand that they can reach out to a toy and grab it, shake it, turn it around and put it in their mouth. They start to make more sounds. There is a high degree of neurological development.
How to Help:
Help them use their body properly when they are grabbing an item incorrectly. You can help them practice rolling over, turning, even crawling, sitting or standing. Let them be naked. Put them on your lap and examine a toy together- they love crisp bags and weird shapes like keys. They find bouncing balls, shaking their bottle up and down and similar events like them fascinating. Let them look at picture books that show events, watch your daily activities, and play peek a boo and hide and seek. Give them sound-producing play-things and help them use them properly.
After the Leap:
Between 20-22 weeks, another period of comparative calm begins. Boundless energy now.
Wonder Week Leap 5
26 Weeks Old – The World of Relationships
The fussy period is one to five weeks. Heavy fussiness is likely at 29 weeks. They will have become significantly more mobile. They can now understand relationships between things: rattling keys means daddy’s home, push a button and the light goes on, etc. They also realize they can coordinate the movements of their body. They understand that something can be inside, outside, on top, above, next to, underneath, or in between something else. They can now perceive the distance between one thing and another so understand their parents can leave.
How to Help:
Show your baby you are not deserting them. You can carry them more often or stay a bit closer than normal. Give them some warning before you move, and keep talking to them as you walk away. Also practice “leaving” by playing peek a boo.
If your baby enjoys crawling on top of and into things, you can make hills using blankets, quilts or pillows, tunnels from boxes or chairs and tents out of a sheet. They’d love it if you got down on all fours with them. If your baby has fun walking, give them a hand.
Give them a box, shelf or cabinet they can put their things in, turn upside down to put their things on top of and put things back in. Let them throw, drop, pull through and overturn objects. Give them a few objects designed to be taken apart like nesting cups or bright laces tied into bows. Let them watch you cook. If your baby loves music, sing, listen to nursery rhymes, dance and motion/ clap along to songs.
After the Leap:
Between 30-35 weeks, a comparatively easy period begins. For 1-3 weeks your baby is cheerful and independent.
Wonder Week Leap 6
37 Weeks Old – The World of Categories
Fussy phase lasts between three to six weeks, begins at 34 weeks or between 32-37 weeks. Leap happens at about 37 weeks (or between 36 and 40 weeks). s.
They discover that different things can share the same traits and classify into groups. They will observe, compare, and arrange people, animals and objects according to similarities and then place them in specific categories.
How to Help:
If your baby starts to demolish things, give them items they can knock down or tear down (like a stack of blocks). You will need to start being more consistent with your baby. When you say no to something once, it is better not to condone it the next time.
After the Leap:
Between 40-45 weeks, another relatively easy period sets in. The following 1-3 weeks, many babies have increased progress, independence and cheerfulness
Wonder Week Leap 7
46 Weeks Old – World of Sequences
Fussy period begins at around 42 weeks, or between 40 and 44 weeks. Fussy period lasts between three to seven weeks.
Babies realize they have to do things in a certain order to be successful. You may start seeing them try to put things together. They can also start pointing out and naming different people, animals, objects and directing where they want to go.
How to Help:
Make it clear to them when something is wrong and why it’s bad or dangerous, then distract them with a toy or game. Do not try to improve their pronunciation, just listen and let them know you understand. You should, however, use correct words. They may point things out and want you to name them or make the appropriate sound. Or vice versa, where you point while they “name” the object.
After the Leap:
Between 47-52 weeks another period of comparative ease sets in.
Wonder Week Leap 8
55 Weeks Old – The World of Programs
The fussy period starts between 49-53 weeks. The phase lasts between three to six weeks. A program allows an end result to be reached in a number of different ways. Your baby begins to understand what it means to do the laundry, set the table, clean up, get dressed and other things that make up everyday life. They may insist on doing things themselves. They are more unpredictable than ever. You may notice a budding imagination and more complex play
How to Help:
If your child is interested in dressing and grooming themselves, show them how. Talk about what you are doing as you are carrying out your program and offer them opportunities to help you. Accept their independent offers to help. If they enjoy watching you, encourage them to do so. Teach them to respect you by asking them to wait when you need to finish what you are doing, but don’t expect them to wait too long.
Give them toys that imitate programs – trains with tracks, dolls with clothes, tea sets or play shops. Help them once in a while, it’s still a very complicated world for them. Most children are interested in seeing the “real thing” too. If your baby is interested in garages, take them to see cars being repaired. Read books that correspond with their interests.
After the Leap:
Around 59 weeks, most toddlers become a little less troublesome.
Wonder Week Leap 9
64 Weeks Old – The World of Principles
They can now think ahead, plan, make choices, evaluate and decide what is the best route for doing something. They like to wander and explore. They try to open the faucet, bottles, drawers, jars, etc. They are learning how to hide something, put something away and recover it. They find jokes and physical antics exciting.
They start to experiment and test endlessly- Can I fit in here? How does my face look when I smile? How should I act if I want something? They become possessive and don’t readily share. They are better at understanding brief instructions and often carry them out with great enthusiasm. They have fun pointing and naming parts of the body and things in the house.
How to Help:
Try involving your child in day to day tasks. Makes them feel understood, appreciated and important. They want to help and want to believe they are a big help – praise them.
Aggressiveness may increase at 17 months, if aggressive behavior is witnessed at home they will see it as normal social behavior. Set boundaries and rules. Social rules about what is acceptable in society are particularly important. They begin to speak up for themselves. Show them understanding but teach them the need for patience and consideration of others.
After the Leap:
Around 68 weeks they become a little less troublesome.
Wonder Week Leap 10
75 Weeks Old – The World of Systems
They realize they can refine their approach to different circumstances. They learn they can orchestrate things, do things by themselves, control things around them, control their own body and make decisions. They start to develop their notion of self. They realize that not all people are alike or like the same things that they do. They have become less “egocentric”.
They now see that a nuclear family is a unit and that their own home is a system. They begin an explosive increase in vocabulary and language comprehension.
After the Leap:
After 79 weeks most toddlers become a little more independent.
Sleep and Leaps:
I actually kind of like what the author has to say about sleep, when it comes to small babies. I think many parents are dead focused on sleep training, or getting their kids to sleep through the night, without thinking of the consequences.
The author believes parents should not attempt to control or tamper with their baby’s sleep cycle. They believe that there are biological advantages to exactly the way your baby sleeps, meaning they sleep in a way that’s best for their survival, brain and mental development.
Leaps 4, 6, 10 at respectively 4, 8 and 17 months are the most difficult in terms of the three C’s, eating and sleeping. Sleep regressions happen for a reason. Your baby does not have a problem that needs resolving, but needs your love and help to get through the leap. In leap 4, sleep regression is most intense. You should let them sleep, especially during leaps. A baby’s sleep rhythm changes with every leap so you will have to learn about new cycles and rhythms regularly. As their parent, you are their rock and safe base to rely on in times of trouble.
Sleep Tips:
Keep track of your baby’s sleep cycle; when they sleep deeply, lightly, wake up or continue to sleep (look at their body to see their level of relaxation). You will then know when to put your baby down.
If you let nature run its course, babies can increasingly fall and stay asleep by themselves. If a baby feels safe from the start and that you are there for them, they become more self-confident, leading them to gain the ability to fall and stay asleep independently.
Let your baby sleep when they are having a nightmare. You could place a reassuring hand on their tummy or head or soothingly say that everything is ok.
Crying:
I totally subscribe to the author’s ideas on crying. As I’ve mentioned in other posts, I have a low threshold for parents who cough all crying up to colic (with zero diagnosis from a dr.). Babies cry for a reason so it’s your job to find and address it, not minimize it. When my daughter would cry I’d run through a mental checklist to try and figure out the cause.
The author aptly states that a baby never cries without reason. If you train your child to sleep when they’d ordinarily cry, you cannot respond to their needs. Crying is a real sign of discomfort.
What to do During Fussy Periods:
Captain Obvious explains that slapping or hurting a baby in any way is not acceptable. Well, no sh*t, Sherlock. But moms, in case you didn’t know – don’t beat the hell out of your kid if they get frustrating. Most of his other calming tips are great.
The very best way to help your baby is to give them tender loving care and support- rock, sing, talk and walk with them. Touch is simply the best comfort: hold them close, cuddle them, make skin-to-skin contact. Your baby will learn they have a wonderful home base they can safely return to.
- Try carrying your baby around in a sling while going about your day, gently massaging or stroking them.
- Don’t stop your baby from falling asleep while feeding. They are falling asleep because they are content and where they want to be.
- Cuddle, rock, caress, and massage your baby when they are in a good mood- this is the best time to find out what relaxes them most. You will be able to use these methods to comfort them when they are upset.
- Show understanding of irrational fears. When baby suddenly acts scared, sympathize with them, find out what’s bothering them and help them.
- Don’t try to push them when they’re attempting to master new skills. Just hold them and be there for them.
- Create a balance between providing enough challenges and demanding too much of them.
- When your baby is having a bad day and the fussiness gets irritating, stop and count to 10. Remember, your baby is progressing
Keep reminding yourself that this too shall pass. Accept that you simply have to go through this phase together and that ultimately everything will be fine. Dabit deus his quoque finem.
So this basically concludes the summary.
So what did I like about the book? There is always good to be found, right?
While I did find his timeline highly inaccurate for my daughter, I did notice a change in temperament when she gained a new stream of independence. For example, my daughter would get clingier at each stage of increased mobility. If I noticed her learning a new skill, I knew to expect a fussy period. Conversely, when she’d get clingier, I knew she was likely going through a “leap” I didn’t see yet. I do believe that new independence is frightening for a child so they feel insecure and seek comfort in you, the parent.
However, the premise of the book is not necessarily that babies get fussy when going through a growth spurt but that these spurts are predictable and start at a precise time. This I find to be utter BS. I never found the timeline to be true. In addition, the author hedges so far with his timeline that it’s virtually impossible not to be in a fussy period. If you do the math ( I did) and take all his ranges into account, your baby is basically fussy all year. The author does a great job of covering his bases. Your baby is fussy? See, it falls within my forecasted leap. I’m right!
I actually loved the activity suggestions and will create a separate post to list them. As I read the game and toy ideas I thought of how much my daughter would like many of them. Again, I wouldn’t trust the timeline for when these games become appropriate for your child – use your own judgment. I noticed my daughter being interested in things (opening the garbage) way before he stated she’d start. I also don’t exactly trust anyone who recommends children’s tv when the entire medical community warns against it.
All in all, I’d take two things out of this book – be especially mindful and sympathetic to your baby when they appear uncharacteristically fussy. Play some fun games with them.
Boom, the end.
