Why Babies Cry
Regardless of what you may read in baby books and magazines, it’s not easy – or even possible – to interpret your baby’s every cry. Still, it is your job to figure out what is wrong and provide the solution. Babies cry for a reason; it’s their only means of communicating when something is wrong. A checklist of possible causes—and some helpful solutions to go with them—can make parenting a little bit less stressful.
When my daughter cried, I’d do a mental check of all these causes to try and figure out why she was crying. It was beyond helpful to me and I hope it’s helpful to you too!
- Hungry
This one is tough. Everyone worries that their baby is not getting enough food, especially when they wake in the middle of the night. If it’s not your baby’s usual feeding time, try working through the rest of the checklist before relying on feeding to soothe. If you believe ongoing hunger is truly a possibility, a quick trip to the doctor for a weight check can resolve your concerns.
- Diaper needs changing
This one’s easy. You know how to assess this possibility, and you know what to do if this is the issue. Pay attention to baby’s skin during changings; diaper rash is another culprit that can crop up suddenly.
- Temperature
Consider the temperature in the room; it may be too warm or too cold. Check the back of baby’s neck for a more accurate reading of baby’s comfort level here.
- Uncomfortable
Check to make sure nothing is causing irritation. An Itchy clothing tag; rough, tight or pinching fabric; or a diaper that is not comfortably secured can create an ongoing discomfort that can bring baby to tears.
- Tired
Some signs your baby is tired are tugging their ears, spacing out, acting less focused and engaged, getting clingier, rubbing their eyes and yawning.
Just because your baby is tired doesn’t mean she can fall asleep, and if she can’t, her frustration will need an outlet. You may need to help. A dim, warm place to sleep is conducive. Swaddling often helps, as does rocking, swinging, shhh-ing/white noise, sucking/pacifier, and laying baby on her side until she is ready to go to sleep. If the crying happens in the middle of the night, it is fine to sooth her so that she is assured and not scared, but she will eventually need to learn to self-soothe to sleep consistently through the night.
- Overstimulated
We all have a limit—a threshold where too much is too much. This is as true for babies as for us. Consider that newborns, especially, are making a transition from the environment of the womb to this world full of new sights, sounds, smells and experiences. When baby is crying inconsolably for no apparent reason, consider baby’s day. Too many visitors cooing and fawning over baby; too much noise, too many errands with you; a disruption in the day’s routine can all contribute to baby overload. Stimulation is good, so you don’t want to avoid it, but when baby has had a lot of it, some quiet, relaxing time can help stave off overload.
- Bored/Lonely
It’s all about balance. At the other end of the spectrum from too much stimulation is boredom and loneliness. Baby is happiest when with you, snuggling, playing, or just relaxing together. Studies tell us that you cannot spoil an infant by paying her too much attention. When she cries for your attention, it’s better to soothe her so that she can enjoy the calm rather than steep in agitation. If an older infant has a tendency to start her mornings earlier than you, rather than letting her get bored, put a plush toy or board book in her crib at night so she can entertain herself. As she grows up and becomes more independent, you’ll miss the moments when she wanted only you. Enjoy them while you have them.
- Frustrated
Consider what it must be like to have wants and needs, and even a sense of humor, yet be unable to express yourself. You’d be frustrated, too. Consider what may have happened to frustrate your baby in case there are specific triggers but, in all instances, soothe her, comfort her and, if possible, find a way to help her be comfortable.
- In Pain
While a baby can’t always tell you she is in pain, there are certain clues to look for.
- If your baby has been eating or sucking on fingers or a pacifier, it is possible that she has swallowed some air and a little burping is needed.
- If she is pumping her legs and arching her back, she may have an issue of intestinal gas. To help her pass it, help her to bicycle her legs and push them up to her chest in repetition. This will help her pass any gas and, if nothing else, will distract and entertain her. You can also hold her on her stomach to assist her digestion.
- Beginning at around 4 months, teething may be the culprit. Check for redness and for emerging bumps along the gums—especially in the front–excessive drooling and gnawing. Let baby suck on fingers, cold/frozen teething items, a cold washcloth. Try giving her a gum massage, rubbing gently. Do NOT use teething aids like Anbesol/Orajel—they may numb her throat and make it hard to swallow; instead, use appropriate doses of liquid acetaminophen or ibuprofen if things get really rough for her—but always check with the doctor first.
- Earache/Illness: if crying is accompanied by any of the following symptoms for an extended period, it’s time to contact the doctor. Fever, lethargy, rash, tugging at ears, vomiting, diarrhea, extended loss of appetite are all indicators – alone or together – that something is up. It may be that a safe dose of over-the-counter meds is in order, but it’s best to get some input from the professionals, especially if you are a new, first-time parent.
Not sure what to do next to comfort and sooth your baby? Sometimes babies just need to feel safe, secure and supported. If your child is healthy but just can’t be calmed, try creating comforting sensations with the 5 S’s: swaddle, side/stomach (laying baby down), shushing/white noise, swinging and sucking. Learn more here: [The 5 S’s Technique.]
I hope this checklist is helpful. It’s hard work being a parent…and a baby. There is no one-size-fits-all baby cry decoder, but information shared by parents, doctors and caregivers who’ve lived through it all can make it a little easier. You’re welcome!
